LoyaLover

Lines

2012-01-26T17:42:00.000-08:00

We all have our own little secrets.

Some more than others.

Things we keep close to our chest.

Stories we'll never tell.

Maybe because we're afraid.

Afraid of losing the people around us.

But its these words that doesn't leave our lips,

that keeps you apart.

Away from those, you hold close.

Drift

2011-12-27T20:39:00.000-08:00

We all fall in love one time or another...

where hands fit perfectly together,

when even silences are sweet.

& it's all smiles when they meet.

For these simple moments we live.

& for the same moments we doubt.

"...if You want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind goes when it wanders..."

Moments

2011-12-26T18:11:00.001-08:00

So often we forget about love.

We forget about the best times we had.

We forget about the evenings under the stars.

& eventually, we forget about each other.

Sometimes its not what's ahead that matters the most.

It's the cherished moments left behind that last for eternity.

In between

2011-11-11T22:23:00.000-08:00

Being in a foreign land makes you realize a couple of things.

For one, I learn that we're all a lot less significant than we'd think we're.

Sometimes You question the relationship You've with people.

How true is it, and how much it means to care for somebody.

& to the people who remembers You,

keep them a little closer.

There are only so few of them anyway.

Reminisce

2011-10-09T16:31:00.000-07:00

It's harder to write these days.

Inspirations just don't come as easily.

Just like You,

I buried my feelings,

put away my emotions,

& fake a smile.

It's really one of those things,

people will never see.

& I wish that someday,

You could find what I kept inside.

Evening Shower

2011-09-20T17:14:00.000-07:00

"You make yesterday worth reminiscing about
& tomorrow worth the wait. "

When was the last time You met that someone?

So often we get trapped in our little world.

We get so tight up with chasing our career

& end up losing sight of everything else beautiful.

Even then I've met people who made my heart flutter.

Friends who makes me feel warm inside.

& I met You.
You made a difference in me.

Daydream, tonight.

2011-09-16T18:17:00.000-07:00

Don't dream about yesterday.

Don't chase tomorrow.

Live today,

and make it count.

We all know how cheesy it sounds.

But these are the few words in life,

we never get enough of .

Sparkle

2011-09-08T17:25:00.000-07:00

Some people don't use their heads enough.
(I'm sure You've met a couple)
While most of us think too much.
(Probably YOU too)
If we see each day as a new beginning,

life isn't all that hard.

" This day. This minute. This very moment,
is a gift. make it count. "

2011-09-07T15:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Santa,
I know its not the season yet, but I need a wish right now...

Lights

2011-09-02T18:50:00.000-07:00

We're all attracted to happy people.

It just one of these things that we can't help ourselves with.

& it makes perfect sense doesn't it?

Yet still,

we enjoy emotional films,

we drown ourselves in sappy music,

& on some days the rain is better than sunshine.

Because life is true.

& everything else have an expiry date.

Even love itself.

But here's the thing,

Your happiest moments won't be forever, but it won't be your last either.

So cheers to those happy days,

in time to come.

Because they're really not that far away.

Alley

2011-08-29T18:59:00.000-07:00

There are a few things in life,

we'd never want to forget.

Pieces of memories... we want to hold close.

& names... that mean the world to us.

So thank those who made You feel special.

Cause it is these precious few,

that truly matters.

Scarlet Roses

2011-08-29T18:49:00.000-07:00

So often we dream about that certain someone.

Someone we miss when the music comes on.

Someone we think about even when the song goes away.

Someone whose eyes we get lost in.

Someone whose smile we fall over for.

Do You know its You?

Fly

2011-07-31T22:48:00.000-07:00

Look through the eyes of those You admire.

Chase the footsteps of those ahead.

Perhaps it won't take You far.

Perhaps the chase is forever.

But it'll always bring You forward.

& sometimes, that's all that matters in life.

Quite a relief to know isn't it?

Songs

2011-07-29T22:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we look into the mirror,

& we don't see ourselves.

We may catch a smile,

with a story behind,

that You would never tell.

Can You keep a secret?

Smoke

2011-07-23T03:55:00.000-07:00

We lose sight the world around us sometimes.

We forget what matters more than estacy.

We put the wrong things forward,

& let people pass us by

than to make connections that can last forever,

in our hearts.

Sometimes we need remind ourselves,

that what's ahead,

is for us to decide.

& only You,

can make it Beautiful.

Cresent

2011-07-22T08:42:00.000-07:00

Some days it feel like forever since I wrote.

We all get too caught up with our lives, with expectations,

& above all, with ourselves.

(Of course, I can't really say this for everyone.)

Sometimes it feels like we're always waiting for our lives to start.

Other days we feel so trapped,

right where we are.

Yet we still race forward.

Because somethings are worth striving for.

& some people, are worth fighting for.

In life, its never just about You or me.

It's about those around,

that makes it the world go round.

Glass

2011-06-24T17:58:00.000-07:00

Do You know its You?

The one I write about.

The one I write to.

It's almost like a dream,

so beautiful, so sweet.

Yet its so sad,

that it never meant a thing.

Petals

2011-06-18T23:33:00.000-07:00

On some days, we really just want to shout out to the world.

To lose ourselves.

To take away our masks.

Just to be able to say the things we want to say,

Do the things we want to do,

& chase the dreams we want to dream.

On some days,

I really just want You.

Touch

2011-06-17T16:18:00.000-07:00

You were the smile he could never forget.

& everything else he fell in love with.

You were the footsteps that never fades away.

Together with his, that never left.

If You are reading,

would You know its You?

Race

2011-05-29T00:25:00.001-07:00

Just like everyone else, I've been away for too long.

Running forward, chasing for tomorrow.

Glamor & lights are sweet,

but I find it hard to remember the last good thing I did.

Always a nice thing to stop and stare sometimes.

Just to see how far You've come.

Just to remember,

what You left behind.

Dice

2011-05-09T00:47:00.000-07:00

Do You believe that everything happens for a reason?

Life can work in some very funny ways.

We go out of our way searching for someone, dreaming like a child.

Yet so often we meet the most beautiful people in our lives out of chance.

It happens every day.

Somewhere out there, someone met the love of her life for the first time.

Just not knowing it yet.

Somewhere out there, someone is thinking about You.

Wishing that You'd feel the same.

& perhaps someday I'll have enough courage to tell You,

how very special You're.

Knots

2011-04-26T18:10:00.000-07:00

When we were younger, a "crush" taught us that
our feelings can cheat us into thinking that its love.
Now that we're mature,
we can't use the same excuse anymore.

I've been watching a good friend struggling with his relationship.
I'm not sure if its even a relationship to start with.

People get the wrong idea about men sometimes.
As logical as we are, emotions get to us.
Our heartaches last longer than yours.
& more often than not, we don't actually want a casual relationship.

We too wait by the phone,
& tear a little in joy seeing your text.
We too enjoy cuddles,
not just sex.
& finally we too can be a bitch with You not knowing why.

And all this because we love You.
Because I loved You.

Hearts

2011-04-02T16:06:00.000-07:00

How do you go from talking to someone everyday,
to rarely acknowledging each other?

Life is full mysteries.

Half of which we create for ourselves.

The great wonder I think about isn't whether God exists.

Or why petals are symmetrical.

But so often I ponder about people.

About why we do the things we do.

& how we say things we don't mean.

About why people hold on,

& find it so hard to forget those who moved on.

Above all I wonder,

what still is,

of You & me.

Pandora

2011-03-26T07:12:00.000-07:00

I always wonder what crosses your mind
when your eyes meet mine.

A magician, is really an actor playing the part of a magician.
& sometimes even after the curtains are closed, the show goes on.
& sometimes, just sometimes,
we learn that you don't have to be awake to tear a little..

For once in my life I admit that I lost it.
Right now, its what's ahead that matters.

From here on,
I go beyond my dreams.
Way above You.

Honey & Bees

2011-03-25T05:46:00.000-07:00

When was the last time You asked a girl out on a date?
Perhaps You're a natural at it.
Or maybe its something you only dream about.

I can't remember if I made her feel like a girl the last time I asked.
Too often we get trapped in our own little tricks
and forget what it means to be genuine & sincere.
To be silly.
To be ourselves.

I forced myself to look into her eyes.
" I think You're the only person who gets me." I swallowed hard.
"When I'm with You, the world doesn't feel like a problem I can't figure out.
Please come to the dance with me." I said.
"Because You're my music."
- Jacob
House Rules, Jodi Picoult

Differences

2011-03-18T01:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like a girl. Don't we all?

1) I get stuck with which shirt to choose. One or the other. (when they're really quite the same)

2) I ~~whine.~~ complain about little things.

3) I enjoy painting nails. (Disclaimer: Not my own)

4) I am a natural at getting lost (Thank god, I still can't drive.)

5) & as much as I hate to admit, I feel insecure sometimes.

But I guess we all feel this way one time or another.

We all have our moments.

Times when we're indecisive.

Times when we're too afraid

of what the outcome may be.

Times when we've words that are waiting to come out.

Like how I miss you.

& especially how much I care.

But those words may forever stay in your heart - locked inside.

Sometimes You wonder if there are words locked inside others too.

But you'll never know.

Heels

2011-03-12T16:39:00.000-08:00

We've all met a few special people somewhere in our lives.

People who made us cry, yet bring us the biggest smile.

People we're barely in touch with, yet can't forget.

& maybe there's a person right now, You think about.

I've told myself that I never would want to be strangers with her.

That 10 years from now I'd want to call her and say Hello.

I don't know what she thought of that.

or if she knew.

Daze

2011-03-12T16:19:00.000-08:00

As we grow up, we tend to have more regrets.

Because words don't seem to leave our lips anymore.

Words to show that we care.

Yet we still move on.

Because its not our first time,

leaving something precious behind.

Confessions of a Conjourer

2011-03-04T15:27:00.000-08:00

Behind my mask is just another. Perhaps You might feel the same.
I convinced myself years ago that I'd be quite good at putting up a front.
I became a professional.

Two of the very best entertainers I know has never failed to make my jaws drop.
You'd probably crave for a lifestyle like that of theirs, if you've seen either of them.
Yet it still makes me wonder whether behind the scenes, they could be themselves at all.

There's a girl whom I've met over the net. She's the one person I could let my hair loose at.

& here are the things I'd remember her for:

1) For all the times where she'd put her matters behind for me.
It made me feel very special.

2) She's the only person I've ever met who'd sincerely mingles with anyone.
Tall. Short. Fat. Ugly. She doesn't try to be nice & she isn't.

3) Her hair which makes her head look 2 times the size.
I found that to be the most attractive part of her for years
till I saw how beautiful she was inside.

4) She introduced me to Japanese food that are the best in the world.
Top of my favourite list.

5) Her body stats which I used to remember my locker combination.

6) She would tear a little at the sight of balloons but still encouraged me to work on what I loved.
& grew to be part of what I did.
These days she tells me how my balloons bring her a smile.

7) Even though there are times when I should be strangled for
being a complete a**hole,
she never left me behind.

For years I struggled with what it meant to be in love.
I refuse to admit that my first "relationship" when I was 12 was merely child's play.
For nine years now the nickname (LoyaLover) I gave myself follows me wherever I go.
In times where we spent more of our lives virtually than in reality,
its no surprise that more people acquainted remember me by my otherwise corny label.

Till this day the words I love You doesn't come easy from me.
And as I recall the last time a lady said that to me,
I thought to myself "What an awfully generous statement to make."
At the same time since she was such a charmer,
its difficult not to feel a particular paranormal by virtue of me not being the first to say it.
Many things went through my head.
Above everything else, I saw her as one of the many people whom unlike me,
meant what they say when it comes to words of emotions.

8) She's the only girl I said I love You to.

& I know I meant it.

Up in the Sky

2011-03-04T07:59:00.000-08:00

People say things they don't mean all the time.
Some are too polite.. or actually too cruel to sweeten their words for You.
Others are too afraid to say how they feel and end up pushing the truth aside.

Even as we leave behind our confessions, pieces of it still follow.
Traces that lingers and keep You up at night.
Because of one single question that makes all things possible,
and everything a nightmare.

What if ..

What if she knew...
What if he cared...
What if You could still make a difference..?

What would You do to make it happen.

Great Expectations

2011-02-19T18:52:00.000-08:00

We all get 24 hours a day.
Some manage it like they've two hundred and forty hours.
While others just let it slip away.

If there was one good thing that came out of being away from home,
it'd be how much I learn to cherish my time.

People procrastinate over the smallest things.
We literally spend our lives away, waiting for nothing to happen.

Each day is so bright and beautiful.
Every moment is a chance for wonders to happen.
Every second could have been life changing, if you let it.

Life itself is canvas for us to fill with colors of emotions.
And You're the Artist.

A Single Man

2011-02-02T23:29:00.000-08:00

He wakes up in the morning, polishing his shoes, ready for the day ahead.
Plugs in his favorite tracks because the music picks him up from all the strange feelings that lingers.

Every early morning where its still dark, he looks across the room. Watching the rest doing almost the same. But all with different thoughts in mind. How often do You get a chance to observe fellow men wake up from their slumber he thought.
And how disappointing it is when people greet their day as if its just another.

Even as the day is begging us to do something with it.
A day full of promise.
A day that's Ours.

~ Jasper ~

Black Buttons

2011-02-02T08:02:00.000-08:00

Some nights we find ourselves in the most clueless state.

We sign in and not talk to anyone.
The people who actually say hi are more often than not,
the ones we'd rather not talk to.
Those whom we do, rarely does.

We log into social sites, as a routine.
Looking at all the beautiful people.
& always, without fail, sees if his or her heart got stolen yet.

Then we start to ponder a little..
About the things that touch our hearts.
Before we start feeling emotional and write what none can truly decipher.
But secretly hoping, for someone to care.

What a terrible feeling.

& if You're having one of these nights,
know that You're not alone, at all.

Cheers mate.

Once in a while

2011-01-29T07:34:00.000-08:00

For the past hour I've been sitting here typing, backspacing, editing, revising. & still nothing comes out true enough worth a read tonight.

Its an interesting thought at how flickle we can be even with the smallest things. If You can't even decide which dress to take, or which shoes to pick, won't it be much harder to know which girl to date, or which prince to marry? Quite troubling isn't it.

Then again, its almost sweet to know that we've a choice in reality.

P.S. We all process about 50 000 thoughts every night.
I know where most of mine goes to.
What about yours?

Ever felt this way?

2011-01-14T17:06:00.000-08:00

lesprit de escalier

- feeling you get after leaving a conversation,
& you think of the things you should have said

Te Amo

2011-01-14T07:59:00.000-08:00

Not many ask what is love anymore.

Perhaps as we grew older,

its too much of a cliche to mention.

Yet we still feel it somehow.

That funny feeling that makes your day brighter,

that same feeling that make you tear.

8 years ago, I met one special girl.

I thought she'd be the only one.

Chess

2011-01-12T16:06:00.000-08:00

If You looked back,
You realize how much I loved You.
You see how the world has no rules.
& between us, we don't need any.
Till someone came along.
Someone who stole your heart.
& decide what's right or wrong.
I wrote You a piece of my heart.
As if that made it any better.
Just wanted You to know,
In the end
Even when your heart turns cold
Nothing really matters
Cause we had that one moment,
together.
I

Yesterday

2011-01-01T23:25:00.000-08:00

Sometimes we ought to love ourselves a little more.
I know You can't help but fall a little deeper.
Don't waste tears on trying to figure what went wrong.
As if that's gonna stop You.
I promise You its not worth pondering over.
Cause it freaking happened to me.
Don't hold your head high, just to pretend that you're fine.
You're not the only prideful one.
I promise You that doesn't make You feel any better.
We all still do it.
Know that hearts move on and people change.
Yea..those fuckers.
Learn that love is a bitch & life is strange.
You already knew that. I merely typed it out.

In a Nutshell

2010-12-25T22:41:00.000-08:00

More often than not,
I just mean very often. No idea why I had to phrase it otherwise.
I tend to write when there are heavy clouds above my head.
You should find shelter when its about to rain, honey.
Never thought of it otherwise.
Are You an idiot?
These days its raining a little too often for me to handle.
FIND SHELTER
And when its just a state of mind,
ITS REAL
We can all choose to be sunshine and fluffy.
Stop listening to Anthony Robbins.
Sometimes nobody really cares if You're miserable.
Okay that I agree.
So You might as well smile a little.
Starting right now...

Drizzle

2010-12-25T16:14:00.000-08:00

Some days we all look back,
Yep we all do.
& remember what seems to be
You've a very good memory.
a beautiful lie.
How come it took so long for You to realize?
A dream so real,
Slap yourself the next time You've it.
we can't put away.
Don't lie. You totally forgot half of it after You woke up.
You tried stop thinking about it,
Try harder.
yet the more it stays.
You're totally not trying.
You'll never forget,
Stop hypnotizing yourself.
cause it wasn't just a dream,
IT WAS!
that we met.
Yea right.

Pages

2010-12-04T23:53:00.000-08:00

On nights before I wrote,

I tend to read what people did.

The sweet things they say makes me feel warm.

We tend to drift away with everyone else.

Like how the clouds moves pass us.

It worries me sometimes.

Because then You don't get to remember,

how I used to look at You,

like no one else ever did.

Kiss the rain

2010-10-21T16:35:00.000-07:00

Its amazing how little things can cheer You up.

Small treat of sweet delights,

a sincere compliment from a stranger,

even smiles from naughty children.

And more often than we notice,

its the little things that put us down.

Hectic days with full of care,

Words that pains you from more than a stranger,

even thoughts alone from yourself.

Yet the sun till shines,

memories still hold hearts together.

These are only,

the little things.

Instants

2010-10-18T01:24:00.000-07:00

So very often I find myself looking up the night sky.

We seldom take the time to stop and stare.

You see so much more when you do.

Life past ahead of us like the breeze.

Just a second ago, We were merely strangers.

A min later You became my dreams.

-

Have you ever seen the moon smiling back at You?

Have you ever looked up?

Confessions of a Stranger

2010-10-12T17:14:00.000-07:00

To get on a girl,

is to drift like a mist,

happy to be caught,

happy to be dismissed.

Glad to be out of the way,

Glad to join her in bed,

Equally grieved or gay,

to learn that she's living or dead.

A Stranger's Secret

2010-10-11T20:06:00.000-07:00

Its always a chase.

Wherever you are, whoever you're with.

A chase not for fame or glamor,

not for love or lust.

But for moments, that matters.

Sheena

2010-10-04T06:20:00.000-07:00

5 thoughts floating around in my brain right now:

1. Where do babies really come from

2. Am so happy that I got my hands on e 1998 Smooth Jazz Album

3. Freaking depressed about losing my MP3 player during my first paid balloon gig

4. I need to stop putting coins in my mouth

5. Maybe You

Deception

2010-10-02T19:43:00.000-07:00

It's a strange world we live in.

People take the wrong turns, knowingly..

say the wrong things, willfully...

but sometimes that's what makes it right~

Take a Leap!

Make it happen.

-

The best things in life are not worth waiting for.

They're worth striving towards.

Limerence

2010-09-29T18:44:00.000-07:00

Its hard to believe how much time I had when I was younger.

I looked up about "Love" after my first breakup.

Almost like a thesis.

Yet knowing doesn't exactly translate to understanding.

'Love' in the end, only exists within ourselves.

-

Yet I found a term, which seems to describe exactly how I feel.

Between love and infatuation.. there was "Limerence".

Its not a common term, yet it is something we've all experienced once or twice.

The concept is very intriguing.

Limerence;

an involuntary cognitive and emotional state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship.

The term was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov to describe the ultimate, near-obsessive form of romantic love. Limerence is sometimes also referred to as infactuation, or is colloquially known as a crush, but in reality it is something much different. In common speech, infatuation includes aspects of immaturity and extrapolation from insufficient information, and is usually short-lived.

Limerence can often be what is meant when one expresses having intense feelings of attachment and preoccupations with the love object. It can be experienced as intense joy or as extreme despair, depending on whether the feelings are reciprocated. Usually, one is inspired with an intense passion or admiration for someone.

Limerence can be difficult to understand for those who have never experienced it, and it is thus often dismissed by nonlimerents as ridiculous fantasy or a construct of romantic fiction.

How can We not chase for such a fairy tale? (:

Glass

2010-09-29T09:07:00.000-07:00

"When we were younger,

crying always seemed to be the answer.

Now that we're older,

crying seems to be the only option."

Yet nothing really changed..but ourselves.

NEW WORLD

2010-09-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

How much do You crave for adventures?

How Far will you go out of your way?

A hectic week fades, with many lessons ahead.

Been a while since it has been so crazy.

Magic by itself becomes more complicated than it already is.

-

You know sometimes words just doesn't leave your lips.

and it becomes too late to say anything.

Too many people forget treasure.

What about You?

Dear Readers

2010-09-16T18:21:00.000-07:00

Many times when we blog, we write for ourselves.

Perhaps to remind us of a memory from before.

What do You write for?

Years back I met a french philosopher.

His ideas were fascinating.

That words were once their own.

They weren't just alphabets we put together to make meaning of.

They were much more than that.

Its hard to understand such abstract concepts.

I too find it confusing sometimes.

Yet something about this mystery can be very indulging.

Dreams

2010-09-14T16:47:00.000-07:00

Too much to write lately, with no idea where to start.

I looked back at the very first entry in this blog, surprised by how little have changed.

While I've aged since then, the very same post from many years back did not.

" Not too long ago i was reminding myself that I should be cherishing everything that comes my way. Seems like time has a habit of passing by.. And sometimes when words are so hard to say, people don't stay long enough to hear you say it."

It's funny how in my first post I talked about "Opportunities" and "Temptations".

How did that even came about?

"What differs the two?

When you cherish what comes your way, and have no regrets, it becomes an opportunity.
When you you're left with nothing but regrets, you might have given in to temptation.

Or..

Are opportunities what you fail to cherish,
while temptations are what you hold on to?"

What do You think?

In the past I may have swayed from one side to another. Perhaps trying to figure which mattered more. Because I couldn't see.
That I myself had the answer written above.

2010-09-10T19:50:00.000-07:00

Have You ever felt an emotion so real and so tempting?

So sensual and so passionate.

That same feelings you keep inside a bottle.

That same feelings you can't put away.

This affection between You and me.

Go ahead, make your move.

2010-09-07T17:42:00.000-07:00

Whatever it is that you want. a job. a kiss. a dream come true. you always have the power to make the first move. sure, it’s scary to put yourself out there, without knowing how it will all work out.

but some moments, some people, some things are just too precious to leave in the hands of time, too important to wait & wait & wait & see if it will happen. sometimes, you have to make it happen. you close your eyes & hold your breath & find the courage, somewhere inside you, to take a leap.

Cheers

2010-09-05T19:49:00.000-07:00

If you had a wish,

what would you wish for?

Some for riches, most for love.

For me, I'd like some time in a bottle.

Its amazing how dull life can be one moment,

and so full of colors the next.

The life of a performer can be quite a facade.

You make acquaintances with characters only from your dreams.

The rich with so much power,

the ladies with so much beauty.

Yet really these make You realize how fortunate you are.

That perfection is still a chase. (:

See You

2010-08-24T16:49:00.000-07:00

Woke up this morning, not knowing what to dwell on for the first time.

Routines as usual kept me busy enough to stop pondering.

I switched it on.

And its almost as if time stayed still.

Dreams are really amazing things..

It can feel so real yet nothing happened.

Nothing at all.

Painting

2010-08-10T04:00:00.000-07:00

Its strange how often we forget ourselves.

We lose track of who were were,

we miss the signs around us,

and eventually we lose our dreams.

Times like these make me realize how fragile memories can be.

We try so hard to hold on to a mirage, that's only beautiful when it lasts.

On the brighter side of things,

we all learn to listen to our hearts sometime.

Candy

2010-08-04T21:06:00.000-07:00

Often times I wish I had more time to write my days,

to remember about us.

To pen down the moments,

just so I can't dismiss it as a dream.

For sweet things like these,

can be so surreal.

When I was younger, I don't remember how candy tastes like.

I do now.

Change

2010-07-23T18:12:00.000-07:00

It can be troubling sometimes, when You find out how lost you are.

Its even worst when you don't have the time to realize even that.

A good friend told me how magic is like a mirror.

A reflection of how our lives are, an illusion.

No matter how I look at it, it's too sophisticated to be understood.

At times I question my emotions, and become skeptical of what I feel.

Beneath all this glamor, is a canvas.

A canvas without a painting,

without colors,

only with a stroke of You.

Puzzles

2010-07-14T21:04:00.000-07:00

When You were younger, have You ever felt like being someone?

Have you ever wondered who You were?

These days, I've been fortunately enough to find time to myself.

Each day, every new encounter intrigues what's inside me.

That curious heart looking for the pieces.

Some days, the more matters we dwell on, the more happiness we forget.

Other times, the more we try to hold on, we end up only with regrets.

What would you do, gentle miss?

The Game

2010-07-13T20:16:00.000-07:00

" Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery.

But today is a gift,

and that is why it is called the Present. "

I am going in.

P.L

2010-07-07T17:45:00.000-07:00

" People used to look out on the playground and say that the boys were playing soccer and the girls were doing nothing.

But the girls weren't doing nothing - They were talking.

They were talking about the world to one another. And they became very expert about that in a way the boys did not. "

- Carol Gillian

Theory and Women's Psychology in a Different Voice.

Thank you, Soh.

Is Anybody There?

2010-06-02T01:22:00.000-07:00

Some days you'd feel so empty, you try to remember.

What would you do with so little time?

The older you get, the less you try.

The older you get, the more regrets stick to you like bruises that never recover.

Smile.

Lacking

2010-06-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

It has been quite a month with so much going on.

I've been meeting up with countless of new strangers, people from all walks of life.

The rich who are never as kind, the poor you'd be surprise to find.

The beautiful one who cries, and the ugly one that tries.

It makes me wonder very much, how you're like.

So many times, I feel as though I am with a mask. And it can be scary if beneath that is just another.

Relations

2010-03-23T19:57:00.000-07:00

She had a wise friend who spoke of the concept that so few understood.

Life gets better when you are comfortable with yourself.

You can only be happy with someone when you don't actually need anyone.

This probably isn't the exact way he puts it. But i guess this gets the message across.

It actually relates well back to perrforming arts or dealing with people.

When people like you, they see the best in you.

And only when you learn to like yourself, would people start to like you for you.

- W.L

All this while

2010-02-14T00:02:00.000-08:00

Its incredible how some people grow up to understand more about life and its purpose.

For me, the older I get, the more I forget. Probably for you too.

I forgot how it feels like to have no worries.
I forgot how it felt like to fall in love.
I forgot why I looked forward to ice creams.

Most of all, I forgot how to be myself.

There are so much so much talk about self help materials everywhere.
But in the end, you lose yourself, and eventually, everyone else.

Its seems to me like my past is no longer relevant. As though what happened to me years before, were that of another person. My obsession with magic dulls my senses. And now I am just another.

Another mask. Another set of insecurity beneath that cover of confidence.

I cannot believe how shallow i was. Or how shallow I still am. I don't know if its right or wrong.

To you, I may sound like a confused little boy, or a young teenager trying to sound profound.

To me, I sound like an old man ready to die. A grumpy one that's so critical about things and skeptical about life.

Do man really have the wrong ideas? Or are they just thinking too much.

NYResolution

2010-02-12T01:30:00.000-08:00

I am never a fan of positive reinforcement. Yet its probably time to give it a try.

Apparently one of the easier way to start, is to avoid using words like "Not", "No", "Don't" and so on.

When you say " I don't want to be a cry baby ", Essentially you are putting focus to what you want to avoid and eventually you start thinking more about what you focus on and in turn become what you don't want to be. I probably made that sound 20 times more complicated than it should be.

So, for the new year, I find the need to write down my new year resolutions.

2010 -

1) STOP SWEARING

Apparently I am becoming quite good at swearing. Although that's not exactly a good thing, but when guys hang out together we tend to encourage one another by laughing at that sacred word. And eventually it becomes part of our daily lives.

2) STOP CROSSING LEGS

I know I do this a lot. Apparently, "guys don't cross their legs". While to me there is nothing wrong with that posture. Having said that, a good man reminded reminded that crossing your legs will impact your spine. So stop it girls and guys. Not cool.

3) STOP LOOKING AT PEOPLE FROM THE SIDE OF MY EYES

Thats one bad habit of mine that few dare point out. Its only today that someone clearly told me what the problem was. Its hard to explain, but more often than not, subconsciously we make subtle non-verbal movements that actually has a negative impact in social situations or basic human interaction.

Not sure if anyone else have such problem, but at least I know its time for me to change and be a better man

- 2010!

Bullshit.

2010-01-19T17:50:00.000-08:00

I don't know when it started, but a strange feeling runs through my veins lately.

A little bit of uncertainty, a little bit of warmth. A little hint of happiness to come, and a little doubt of the future.

Pui.

Pleasures

2010-01-18T01:22:00.000-08:00

I haven't been blogging as much. Or actually I haven't be blogging at all. In my head, I've tons to write about. But when I am here, it seems like I am too bothered with writing something that's worth reading. (I assume I have readers.)

At times, I'd visit my own blog and feed the fishes above. It makes me feel that little happier. It really doesn't mean anything, but just watching that motion makes me that much more alive and living.

We often forget the simple pleasures in life that makes a world of difference when we actually take notice.

Do they make you feel that bit happier?

Performers

2010-01-06T04:52:00.000-08:00

When you are young, everything bad that happens gets exaggerated. Every small matter may seem like the end of the world when it isn't.

I've been meeting people from all walks of life, all with one thing in common. Everyone have a great passion for magic. Its amazing how it takes everyone from different personality and characteristics to come together and share this common interest.

I haven't been in the industry for long, but it seems like every performer I met has a unique style of their own. You will never find a magician performing the exact same routines as another, nor would you ever find someone with absolutely new creations of their own. It's really funny when you see how it works.

Once again, I don't think I have a point to make in this post, but the more you think about things like that, the better you understand yourself, and hopefully it helps in my steps ahead.

- W.L

Key to Success

2009-12-07T22:07:00.000-08:00

I guess blogging academically has made me more inclined to make my posts purposeful. Which may or may not be a bad thing.

A while back I attended the Barcamp, which was pretty much a convention filled with different speakers from different walks of life. Of which one of the more interesting talks I attended talked about the quickest way to success.

A study found that there are no significant differences between the routines of an elite tennis player compared to aspiring professionals. They then looked into the matches and study about what makes a player more successful than the other. Here are a few things they found.

1) The elite always turn his/her back from the net after every point.

If you translate it to be about success, the hidden meaning behind this is to subconsciously put behind the past. Don't be complacent after a victory or put yourself down when you fail. We move on. To the next point.

2) The elite would then fiddle with the strings on their racket.

Too many times we suffer from multi tasking and we lose our concentration. The key here, is focus. Don't have to be distracted by your audience, your friends, your family, just do what you do best.

3) The elite would always walk with confidence

How we portray ourselves on the outside eventually gets to us in the head and affects us on the inside. You have to look confident to feel confident and finally get that to be your 2nd nature.

4) The elite would transfer the racket over to another hand after every hit. This allows them to rest their arm/whist for a short period which in turn lower's their heart rate to improve their stamina in the long run.

If you ask me how does this relate to success, I honestly cant remember. I guess it should be about playing smart.

Having a chance at two magic competitions around the nation has shaped me to be quite a thinker. Competitions tend to be a very complex environment. Particularly in magic sense. There is alot about audience management and not just with creating the right mood and atmosphere, but also on positioning yourself at where it looks best.

Perhaps writing more about this could help me understand the situation better and thereby improve my magic if I get into the semi - finals.

BOO.

2009-12-01T19:44:00.001-08:00

I've always been particular about physical appeal. We are all superficial bastards no matter how we want to hide it.

I've never been happy with the way I looked.
(Disclaimer: Its not about being insecure, but knowing the truth. LOL)

I hated photo taking sessions.

And I am proud to say that I've scared away a couple of online blind dates.
(Just to add to that, a couple of online dates scared the hell out of me too.)

But eventually I found confidence within myself, and met some beautiful people (not just their physical appeal of course) whom admired how they were.

When I was younger, I made an effort to meet up with people. I was determined to be comfortable around strangers. It's a weird practice for a kid at that age.

Some people may find that eccentric behavior undesirable.

But looking back, I was proud of myself doing so.

The world never changed, but I did.

Technology.

2009-11-28T03:09:00.000-08:00

We depend on the net on almost anything.

If there's something you don't know, you google it.

If you want to learn a new skill, go to youtube.

If you want buy something, you check up e bay.

I checked up the net on "how to be happy".

I even look up the net on dealing with people.

Its quite an irony to look up the computer for information on human interactions.

But soon enough, online dating is about to be the new age to relationships.

People these days are already looking for Love online. It's only going to take a while more before it becomes a norm.

What have we become?

Maybe its just me. I've met happy people in my life. I know I am not one of them. If you give it a thought, you can probably tell who are the happier people in your lives too.

I've heard alot of talk about how being online excessively can lead to psychological problems like depression, isolation and so on. Yet, I've also heard a lot about how you'd lose out if you don't keep yourself updated.

There really isn't a point for this post.

Its just a reminder to myself.

A new Begining.

2009-11-28T02:00:00.000-08:00

I think I've been living in my dreams for a while, putting on a mask in an attempt to be different yet the same.

We all try to be different. And many seem to be in a race to impress, to win, to succeed. Some days we slow down, look back, and realise how much we left behind.

It didn't take me 10 years to realise that I am not living my life. When i was 10, I probably thought about what it meant to be alive. (Yes, when i was 10.)

I didn't find my answer 10 years later.

Have you?

Values

2009-11-19T18:23:00.000-08:00

I hate how my parent's lose their good values in times of "crisis" in front of their kids.

I can't say that ill be any better.

But I am not looking forward to have any kids of my own.

Losing Yourself

2009-11-14T20:05:00.000-08:00

It feels as though I haven't been blogging for ages. Yet at the same time, I AM blogging very frequently. So why the hell do I feel that way?

I've been taking on a new class under "New Communications Technology(NCT)". Of which Im encouraged to write entries about what I've learnt. I personally thought it's a pretty good idea because writing down what you learnt is probably the one thing that actually does help your learning experience, and it is also the one thing that not many students are doing.

Having said that, I am quite upset about the structure of NCT classes. It's a personal thing. I've never liked how technology is integrating into our daily lives and I picked a thesis on online relationships particularly to prove how the Internet is affecting us psychologically and not for the better.

While me and my sister desperately push ourselves to take daily walks and hide away our computers, I am required to learn more about technology and its dark side.

The purpose of this entry was to wake myself up and for once blog about what I want than entries on NCT. But right now, I guess I still had to link it back to my frustration.

Okay. Time to move on, Wei Liang.

Music makes the world go round

2009-10-29T02:48:00.000-07:00

I've never been keeping up with the lastest MTV, Music trends and hits.

Having said that, I always felt that its an essential part of life. Be it at the office, in the trains, and even in religions.

I was listening to the music on my blog a second ago. And I just had this urge to blog. I don't know about what, but it just made me want to write.

Live these days have been thoughtful. I've been trying to keep in mind several things. These may be pretty cliche, but nevertheless pretty true.

1) Never give up. All you've to do and think about is to put one foot in front of the other.
- Shawn Lee

2) Its an age where working hard doesn't pay off. You've to work smart
- Mr Dioni Yong

3) Just do it, for the experience. You've nothing to lose
- Choon boon
(He claims that I used to say that all the time)

These probably aren't the smartest thing you heard, nor is it going to be so inspiring to change your life. But hopefully it does intrigue you to a certain extend. And hopefully
some other day, someone else would remind you of these and have you keep them in mind.

- LIFE IS GOOD (LG)

Narcissism

2009-10-23T07:43:00.003-07:00

Today i read up about:

Narcissism

A friend of mine is having trouble with a colleague at work. Apparently his work mate, Daniel have the habit to put people down. Although it can be irritating, he has to admit that Daniel is quite witty at times.

...people with narcissistic personality disorder are often highly intelligent and charming...
Basically Daniel tries to put my friend down, unreasonably. It may be obvious to intelligent people that we should ignore people like that. But then again, it can be extremely irritating at times.

In the end I think I actually gave the wrong advice, and taught my friend how to be an asshole too.

To everyone with an issue out there, Stay calm.

The Minority Report

2009-10-22T19:45:00.000-07:00

Some movies tend to be more intriguing than others.

There were a couple of amazing inventions in the "Minority Report". Like how cars traveled on walls, how holograms instead of print ads were everywhere, and that everything else was voice activated.

Its always interesting how technology can work like magic. If magic is like dream that never happened, then technology is the reality.

I've been performing magic for a while, and whenever I see a trick that looks so impossible, I start to question myself if I should actually dismiss it as another trick with a disappointing secret.

When I was watching the Minority Report, I start to wonder. What about magician at that time. What about the magicians in 2054.

When technology is reality, what else is there for magic?

The movies talks about pre crime. To predict the future, and thus preventing crimes before it actually happens. Although everyone else believed that it was a perfect system, there was an error. Human error.

Perfection is a flaw. If something is perfect, there will never be anything else to look forward to.

2009-09-22T01:15:00.000-07:00

With all the talk on confidence, positive thinking and first impressions, perhaps we should also remind ourselves of something else.

That being humble (or realistic) with ourselves is a more attractive quality than "trying too hard".

Here's a couple of things I'd keep in mind. Perhaps you too.

1) You're not half as good looking as you'd assume.
2) You're probably lacking the same social skills you'd think you have.
3) You're no smarter than anyone else.
4) And finally, you aren't that different no matter how hard you try, because everyone else think they're different. In the end, we're all similar in that sense.

The slient rule.

2009-09-21T06:06:00.000-07:00

Its interesting when I listen to others about their relationships.

I've a friend who wrote something like this in her shoutout on facebook:

"If we are going to break up in the end, whats the point of getting together"

If you're analytical, you'd probably be able to tell what kind of girl she might be.

I believe my other friend left a reply, telling her how its the process, but not the product that matters. That it is the memories together that's worth the effort.

A few days back, I heard about another relationship. That one, was perfect. Or at least, it sounded as good.

I've always felt that the secret to success applies to anything else. (Relationship included).
With determination, patience and understanding. That couple was a perfect example.

They've been together for more than year.

They're both extraordinary attractive people in their own ways,

and finally,

they have a healthy sex life.

Is that what contributes to a healthy relationship? No.

Its the communication. Its the effort they put in. Its the compromises they make. Its all the cliche stuff that helps maintain this relationship as a whole.

That's how I see it. I don't know the two well enough say much. As an outsider, that's what I feel.

And finally, a while ago, I was chatting with a wondering girl about her relationship with her partner. It has always been my habit to ask about relationships, just so I'd understand better.

She's a total sunshine girl. The kind who smiles at anything and everything. I don't know too much about her boyfriend, but apparently he sounds pretty nice from how she put it. Then again, I probably don't know her well enough for her to share any problems.

It interests me how her relationship works. And hopefully the next time I talk to her, I'd learn a thing r two.

--

KILL YOU

2009-09-17T02:40:00.000-07:00

I've had serious headaches whenever I worked out.

Rested for about a month.

And now its back.

The fucking construction downstairs isn't helping at all. And i feel like killing everyone.

Maybe

2009-09-01T18:04:00.000-07:00

Yknw of the saying, how the grass on the other side is always greener?

Its like how you make a choice, and then reason with yourself that the one you didn't pick, would have been better.

But in reality, we are smarter than that.

We'd pick a rotten egg over an apple, and then reason with ourselves that the rotten egg is better.

That's called self deception.

Regrets

2009-09-01T17:59:00.000-07:00

Its amazing how relationships work.

Its amazing how some people just like who you are and some just never would.

Its amazing how you chose me, and yet i let go.

You're different? Really?

2009-08-12T03:04:00.000-07:00

We all think that we're different and unique in some ways. Deep down, we all think that we are better than another person. In one way or another. Maybe you think that you have better taste. Maybe you think that you're always right.

We are all comparing ourselves. And sometimes, we compare others too. And that's what the society has become. A bunch of kids, full of confidence about themselves, and yet so insecure at the same time.

Somewhere in our lives, we learnt that labeling others makes ourselves feel better.

And we seldom try to look back, and see, that the opposite is what gives us the peace of mind we seek.

Death

2009-08-03T06:53:00.000-07:00

Its death taught me a few things.

1) Most girls tend to say the right things and make you feel better.
2) Adults are usually quite sensitive to things like that.
3) People overseas are much more empathetic.

Although that sounds pretty nice, the most important lesson I learnt isn't anywhere close.

4) I happen to have insensitive "friends" who'd see it as talking points. I see no reason how anyone should actually make fun of it, or actually spread such news.
5) There are always people who don't think before they question.

For people like that, time to wake up asshole.

Lesson learnt:
Never talk about death to people you aint too close with. Most probably they aint sensitive enough to be helpful.

Estacy

2009-08-01T17:34:00.000-07:00

I've never been quite a social person. There are times when I have to talk to my toys because I just am not having the right people around to share the worries. Lately, I have been thinking alot about how I were before. The people I've met, the people I've lost. I never would want to see them as regrets, but as lessons learnt.

I had a pretty good time. It doesnt exactly please me to be around magicians, because most of the time it'd be too uncomfortable with so many secrets between one another. You never know what they might see you as, and from time to time people tend to compare one with another.

It was the audience interaction that felt pretty good. Magic is a social weapon. You're equiped with a skill to entertain, and even to impress. I always thought that humor is the one thing, that really helps when it comes to social interactions. It was also something I never quite possessed. Magic on the other hand, was something I had a little talent for.

I met people from all walks of life. And magic brought me to them.

It never struck me if I'd ever see these people again. But the experience I gained, and the memory I left behind, that's what makes it worthwhile.

2009-07-17T01:34:00.000-07:00

I used to take charge,
I used to call the shots.

Then things began to change,
and people start to rot.
-----------------------------------------

I met someone.
He's one of those people you'd enjoy being with.
He's one of those people I have so much to learn from.

A while back, I tried to have a nice chat with him.
Not about toys. Not about TV.
About life. About friends. About people.

"I know who my friends are, those i'd give my life to. And I know who are the ones who would remain just as acquaintances"

Thats what he said. Or somewhere along those lines.

I knew in my head, that I was gonna be one of his acquaintances.
Frankly speaking, I'm not upset with that. Nor am I the least bit disappointed.

I never asked much from people. I never hoped for greetings, never asked for company. Most people call this being independent. Having said that, I do give a shit about my relationship with people around me.

What about my friend? Apparently, he's pretty surrounded by "friends". Apparently, they are people that he would die for.

Here's the problem about these communities. You forget about your priorities. It screws up your head.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I take life too seriously.

Time to laugh at myself.

Did you know?

2009-07-14T18:41:00.000-07:00

Today i chanced upon an article on ''What women really wants" while doing my daily research on social networking sites.

The internet is made such that you have the world at your fingertips just one click away.

So of course, i decided to read up a little on it.

I've always been skeptical about dating books or idiot's guide to love and relationships. There are so many versions out there, one putting down the other. Some talked about how males should be jerks, while others teach you how to put your words right.

In the end, the truth is that nothing works like magic. There is never going to be just one single key that'd open up to the world of attraction. Or at least that's how i feel.

Turns out that the article was just one of those ultimate dating 101 guide.

Having said that, everything i read about does make some sense from time to time. This probably sound a little contridicting, but there's a reason why dating guides are selling like hot cakes.

Here's in a nutshell.

The secret to ladies, is probably to be secure about yourself, and be naturally charming. There is no hard and fast rule to being good with people. Attraction happens when you have that confidence within you.

Easier said than done.

- Pui.

And here's to those who give a shit:

http://www.internetromance.org/success-tips/what-women-really-want-1230.htm

Communication

2009-07-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

The last time i had a good chat with someone is probably when i was still a kid.

When i didn't try so hard phrasing my words.
When i didn't know what people want to hear.
When i didn't try too hard.

When was the last time for you.

Hello, you splendid thing

2009-07-04T23:28:00.001-07:00

I've been updating my blog pretty frequent these days. And to my suprise, I actually have more readers than i expected.

There are a few reasons why people bother to read up blogs. It's the same reason why people go on to social networking sites, or forums.

Deep down, we are hoping to be noticed in some ways. I don't quite know how to put it down in words. But people go on to facebook and friendster partly because it feels good when someone post on your wall, or when you receive a flirt in some way.

People head on to forums, because they get replies. Because they are heard. Because they are involved.

Same thing for blogs. Sometimes You read a person's blog, because You were mentioned.

Half the time i read Pearllyn's blog because i'd see my own pictures there. Of course I also visit the blog because I CARE. =P
I'd want to know if she enjoyed herself with me.

So! Here's to my fellow readers.

If you are reading my blog, it's highly unlikely that it is because im hot or that i write well. It's probably because you don't know me too well, and happen to find this interesting, or you've got nothing better to do. I think for most people, its the latter.

Any the case, it's nice to know that someone is hearing my words, so feel free to say hi and let me know your presence.

Cheers~

Reality

2009-07-02T02:28:00.000-07:00

A few good things came out from learning magic.

1) You realise that you have no problem drinking water, while holding on to your magic coins, and flipping a page of a book, all with one hand.

2) You learn that you can easily chat up with people with the skill you have.

3) You meet other aggrogant magicians and decide to change for the better when you see the slightest bit of ressemblance of yourself in them.

4) You have a reason to interact with your family

- One day, i realised that there was more to life, than making a coin vanish, or to tell my audience which card they picked after i lose it in the pack.

Dream

2009-06-30T17:45:00.000-07:00

The other morning, I woke up with a headache.

I always felt that things happen for a reason. And although Im neither an atheist nor a believer, but I always found meaning for things that are happening around us.

That reminds me. Derren Brown is an atheist. He's very critical when it comes to psychics and spiritualism. And he believes that these mediums, are merely frauds who found meaning in whatever they see in a person, and just phrased it in such a way that'd be accepted as a reading.

Apparently, these frauds are making use of either cold reading techniques or psychological knowledge to provide any form of fortune telling etc. The better ones know how it works. While the rest, believed in their own intuation, falling for their own disillusion.

Perharps I fall under that category. I haven had a sweet dream for years. Come to think of it, sweet dreams isn't that sweet either. The dreams that I enjoyed felt like falling in love again. Your heart turn sour, and you get butterflies in your stomach.

I had a headache right after. Why did i end up with one? Maybe there's a scienctific answer for that. Or maybe for people like me, who isn't going to take the hassle to find out, that headache meant something more significant about my life.

First day.

2009-06-29T05:50:00.000-07:00

I learnt something at work and in school.

More than half the time its better to keep your mouth shut when you aint got the brains to think through what to say.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today a friend texted me about whether i'd feel apprehensive when i wake up in the mornings. When I'm not certain about what's in for me. When I haven got a clue about what is ahead.

We fear uncertainties.

But does knowing really help?

I haven't had a peace of mind for quite a while. There'd always be deadlines on my minds. So many things that has yet to be done, and so much worries.

I recall almost "preaching" about this once. On happiness. That happiness starts today.

Directly from my memorized script:

" Now, is all you've got! Regardless of what happened yesterday, or what might happen tomorrow, now is where you are. The secret to happiness is to focus on the present moment. "

I read something along these lines from a book. It helped quite a bit. I mean for my presentation. There's something about inspirtational self help books. Perharps it's how you go about "using" it. Reading it doesn't help. Someone should write a self help book on self help books.

Im not sure if others really got the gist of what I talked about. But when i read the whole thing, it made full sense to me, and I could totally relate to it. It was pretty much why i could be so passionate bout it. Here's what it meant.

Every day, we've got so much on our mind. Be it deadlines, exams, preparations for weddings, dates, errands, whatever! And we keep telling ourselves that "After this, life is gonna be good.". We give ourselves the impression that in the near future, things are going to get better.
Some call it having something to look forward to. Be it the weekends, the holidays, long vacation,a break, whatever!

But when will we really stop and stare? When isit till we wake up our idea and tell ourselves that we CAN, and that we have the CHOICE to be happy, here and now?

Life starts today.
Happiness, starts today.

Music

2009-06-25T20:37:00.001-07:00

What can you tell about a person, by listening to his/her list of playlist

Do you think that there's a song, or tone, that represents how you are?

What can you tell from mine.

- Comptine d'un autre été -

Insecurities

2009-06-22T23:10:00.000-07:00

Lately, im experiencing a series of events that happens to be about the same thing.

Maybe im not making sense here.

I never had a problem to look up to people. (I am not half as stuck up as I may look.) The magician who inspired my interest has always been someone who appears to have both style and substance. He's actually a school mate. So I've heard quite a bit of stories about him and formed my own preconception about how he is like as a person.

Here's a rough idea. He did well in school, stood out like a sore thumb because he is ridiculously tall, and he had a relationship with one of the more desirable girl in school.

Lately I had the chance to know him better as a person, than just a character i created in my mind. He turns out to be hardly how i pictured him. Don't get me wrong. He is a wonderful person. Extremely pro active, very caring and thoughtful individual, and he's one of those street smart guys who won't have a problem anywhere he is.

But. Just like everyone else, he has his fair share of insecurities. This is when i thought to myself. Everyone is insecure. Myself included. I've my flaws. And saying that doesn't make it any better.

Now, let me link it back to something more cliche.

Friends and lovers.

These are the people, who accept how you are, who know how much of an asshole you can be, and yet can still see the good in you.

Instead of seeing this, as a way to tell who are your friends, this is how you fucking make friends.

Drive

2009-06-22T07:28:00.000-07:00

Today my sister asked me what drove me in life.

I started thinking, what is life?

If life is about love, she drives me to be a better man.
If life is about people, strangers motivate me to be a better person, and friends teach me how.

What about you?

What

2009-06-07T01:35:00.000-07:00

I don't have the habit of reading. That explains my bad writing, and how i need to spend more than an hour attempting to make this post worth reading.

So, what crap am i gonna be blogging about today.

Love.

Association. Do you know what comes into my mind when i think about "Love"?
Not happiness. Not joy. Not really heartbreaks.

But i think about the seekers.

Maybe its just me. But it seems like everyone around me is just so...desperately hoping to find someone of the opposite sex for a relation. Maybe desperate isn't the word. There's too much negative connotations to it.

The point is, people out there, are all so keen. And it's not just the males. Females too! Who won't want to have someone nice and charming to share their lives with.

So why then aint you getting what you want!

What is the secret to seeking out for love!

Or isit even love that we are seeking for!

What about you.

2009-06-04T22:29:00.001-07:00

I've never quite gave too much thought about my emotions when i was younger.
All i knew is that i'd be happy if i had want i yearned for, sad if i didn't, and for the rest of my emotions, they just came.

I never tried to control my anger, my tears, nor ever held back my laughter.

As we grow older, we learn that maturity is measured by how one is able to control their emotions. Some like to call this wearing a mask, while others like to put it in a nicer way, saying that it's about being composed.

Its only till recently when i start to question myself. . .

If it even meant anything . . .

Mother's Day

2009-05-09T08:27:00.000-07:00

Happy mothers day.

" Mama wo ai ni. "

I don't quite say stuff like that to my mum. She'd think that im crazy. I'd think that im mad too.

Guess the next best thing is to write it down here, and make myself feel better bout it. LOL.

FML